Garlic and Stakes
by Jeshickah Knight
Summary: Just a cute oneshot...I was feeling inspired and it turned out better than I thought it would. Hope you don't mind me making fun of Edward and Emmett...they're just too much fun to mess with!


**Garlic and the Stake**

* * *

"Okay, so I get that garlic doesn't keep vampires away, but…" Bella trailed off, looking over Edward's shoulder from their cozy little spot on the couch.

"Do you have a question about something, Bella?" Edward asked, turning away from the TV show he was watching to look at her questioningly.

"If it doesn't bother you, then why is Emmett grinning like he's about to annoy you?" she pointed over his shoulder at the hulking Emmett in the doorway.

Emmett held a fist full of garlic cloves in his hand with a somewhat evil grin on his face as Edward turned slowly. Emmett waited until his brother was fully facing him before he chucked the cloves at him, hitting him squarely in the face. Emmett roared with big booming laughter while Edward's face changed from momentary surprise to rage.

"Emmett, I swear!" Edward growled, standing up slowly and walking to the closet in the hallway. Bella followed along curious. "You're going to pay for that, you big idiot."

Edward pulled a wooden stick down from the top shelf of the closet and turned toward Emmett once again. Bella noticed that one end of the stick was sharpened and she realized that it was a stake at the exact same moment Emmett realized it too and took off at top speed out of the house with Edward right behind him. Bella ran to the door much slower and saw two blurs race around and around the house too fast for her eyes to see.

Occasionally she was able to catch something yelled from one boy to the other.

"Calm down, Edward! It was just a little garlic!"

"Shut up, Emmett! You do this same stupid thing all the time!"

"Well, why are you chasing me then?"

"I'm retaliating."

Bella didn't immediately notice Rosalie when she appeared at her side. Her quick buttery golden eyes catching the orbiting boys a lot better than Bella's could.

"I don't get it," Bella said, as imperceptibly the boys started to slow down a bit. "I though stakes and garlic didn't affect vampires at all."

"Oh, so that's what Edward's got," Rosalie laughed, an evil smile tugged at her lips to match the one her sometimes-husband so often wore. "They don't affect us. Emmett just likes to tease everyone, and Edward tries to be annoying too sometimes. He's had that stake in the closet for a long time now."

"So this is just a joke?" Bella was still completely confused; it made absolutely no sense to her.

"Kind of, you'll get use to it," Rosalie looked at Bella quickly. "Unless you change your mind, that is."

"Oh, okay," Bella nodded, so it was an inside joke…that wasn't so bad, she could defiantly get use to all the funny little jokes Emmett could pull out.

"Okay, Edward, stop trying to kill my husband and go back to your show, the commercials are over." Rosalie called, and both boys sopped abruptly before the porch steps. Both had windswept hair, and matching smiles on their faces. It looked like they were merely playing a game of tag or something.

"Sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to leave you." Edward chortled slightly, wrapping his arm around her and leading her back to the couch in the living room.

"That's okay; it was fun to watch you play with your brother." Bella smiled, picking up a clove of garlic and setting it on the coffee table.

"I swear, Rosy, he just started chasing me," Emmett said, sounding like a child as he and Rosalie headed up the stairs.

"I know, it's okay," Rosalie laughed and winked at Edward. Edward picked up the clove from the coffee table and hurled it at Emmett's head. Rosalie ducked to avoid getting hit accidentally at the same moment, perfect unison seemed to make the clove soar beautifully right at the side of Emmett's head.

Edward, Rosalie, and Bella broke into fits of laughter. Emmet pouted and rubbed the spot on his head.

"Fine, I'll just fine someone who loves me then!" he huffed dramatically and continued to walk up steps, calling out loudly. "Alice!"

Bella and Edward laughed harder while Rosalie tried to stop giggling as she hurried to catch up, trying to say "I'm sorry" with as little giggling as possible.

* * *

_Inspired by the line "you know that garlic and wooden stakes have nothing to do with vampires unless Emmett throws garlic at Edward who then chases him with a wooden stake" from LiquidButterscotch's_ Ways you know you're obsessed with Twilight…_it inspired me, so thus you get a short and funny one-shot! Hope you liked it, it was fun to mess with Edward and Emmett, they're just so cute some times…I want to have little plushies of them that I could just cuddle with all the time. It'd be awesome!! The Cullen Plushies; I'm so going to make some now!_


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